Devaluation KitTM

Hi!

Good morning!

Has your rent gone up lately?

Gorblimey, the rent...!

Is the number of black limousines parking in your street increasing as well? Do you see more pricy 4X4 s these days? Is your street also affected by gentrification? Well, then I have something here for you - the Devaluation Kit.

Devaluationkit ...

yes!

Sounds exciting. What is it?

You can ruin the appearance of your flat with it - in no time at all! And soon the "Broken Windows Effect" sets in.

That's such a new theory from the USA

Wealthy people move out, flats are harder to rent out, the prices decline.

Come off it! With the Devaluation Kit I can lower my rent - just on my own? That's fantastic!

The Devaluationkit is a scientifically proved and tested tool.

Scientific tests – sounds good to me, tell me more!


I guess you've noticed, that in areas with low rents you see a lot of satellite dishes on house fronts. While in wealthy quarters - you see none at all!

Now that you say it - what a striking difference.

You should use the effect for your own benefit - mount a satellite dish to your front!

Maybe I could take two or three - right from the start.

The rule of thump is: The more Satellite Dishes cover the storefront - the better the deterring effect.

Great!

The ordinary undershirt is called a wife beater by some people.

Oh yes, my boyfriend is wearing those all the time.

Dry it in front of your window - and multiply the effect by mounting a laundry rack to your balcony.

Simply fix it to the railing.

... peg out the washing, old clothes, the wifebeater, and let it dry outside. Preferably for two weeks.

Oh!

That frightens off every investor!


Mmh!

What could start the broken windows effect more effectively - than a splintered window?

Very well then!...

Just knock up the Broken-Windows-Effect-Sheet - and mount it to your window!

Nifty!

There's nothing that spreads a bedraggled and scruffy atmosphere more effectively. Good - because it keeps investors away!

A dream! Madness! Great!


„It looks ghetto-rigged“ a student said to me in the USA, when I tried to tinker something to the wall.

You've seen quite a lot of the world!

That's right! That's the look we should strive for: bricollaged, getto-rigged, unskilled, unprofessional. You should implement fake-mendings - at the railing, with gaffer tape, with wire, with cable straps!

Like - tape to the rain drain...

But don't get too creative. With the creatives, the rents rise.

Sure, advertising agencies and so on.

You know the effect from Williamsburg - you see one person sporting dreadlocks - and the rent goes up a Euro.


The public housing agency SAGA, rents out appartments in St. Pauli only to people with German family names.

I beg your pardon?

Foreigners - even if they hold a German passport - hvae more and more difficulties to get a flat.

I see...


Many families are stuck in flats that have become too small - if they're not ready to leave St. Pauli and move to the suburbs.The reason behind this policy seems to be, that the SAGA assumes, that foreign names have a negative effect on rent prices.

No...

Reverse the effect to your advantage, and add foreign names to your doorbell - or to your neighbour's buzzer!

Of course!

Let your flat look like a 55-Cent-Shop!

Oh, good!

Or, even better, like a failed discounter! Because: no militant demonstration ruins the Image of your neighbourhood as effectively, as a 55-cent-shop!

That's smart!

The use of Lidl-bags comes off as extra-heinous.

Well, well...

You can fill it up and hang it out of the window - your neighbours will assume you didn't pay the electricity bill or you couldn't afford to have your fridge repaired.

Madness!

If you buy something expensive, hide your Gucci-bag in the Lidl-bag.

That's smart - what a wonderfull idea!

Isn't it?

Applied consequently by many tennants, the "Devaluationkit" starts off an inflationary spiral: the rich leave the district and move back to their ancestral settlement areas at the outskirts, posh rstaurants lower their prices - and soon you can move to a bigger, cheaper flat. And at the end of the month you'll find a whopping saving in your wallet.

And I have more money in my purse.
In a nutshell: after the revolution we can afford good taste again - up to that point we lower our rent and at the end of the year I can afford an extra crate of champagne or two.


Devaluationkit: download it on www.esregnetkaviar.de